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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

⏲ 4:49 👁 28.2M

American College of Surgeons

What does FACS mean to me?

⏲ 1 minute 19 seconds 👁 223

American College of Surgeons

What does FACS mean to me?

⏲ 1 minute 17 seconds 👁 115

CLNS Media's Taylor Kyles and Mike Kadlick dive deep into the New England Patriots' decision to select quarterback Drake Maye with the 3rd overall pick in the 2024 NFL Draft. In their analysis, they explore what this significant move means for the future of the franchise. They likely discuss the potential impact Maye could have on the team's offensive dynamics, how he fits into the Patriots' long-term planning, and the expectations set for him as a potential franchise quarterback. <br/><br/>Get in on the excitement with PrizePicks, America’s No. 1 Fantasy Sports App, where you can turn your hoops knowledge into serious cash. Download the app today and use code CLNS for a first deposit match up to $100! Pick more. Pick less. It’s that Easy!

Was Drake Maye the RIGHT PICK for the Patriots?

⏲ 18:23 👁 17.9M

Dr. Chip Cole | Plastic Surgeon

Medical Board Certifications | FACS & ABMS | Differences, Meanings & History

⏲ 5 minutes 45 seconds 👁 85

American College of Surgeons

Why Should I Become FACS and How Do I Do It?

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A chronically disabled woman has said she would rather die than continue to live in the cramped kitchen she calls her “prison”.<br/><br/>Illa Smyth, who is 35st, is confined to eat, sleep and wash in the 13ft square ground floor room because her weight means that she struggles to get up or squeeze through doors.<br/><br/>The 54-year-old said the last time she left her terrace home in Gillingham, Kent, was to go to the hospital when she had to be assisted out by paramedics into an ambulance.<br/><br/>She has been isolated to one room as her health deteriorated over the last 20 years and she is unable to climb stairs.<br/><br/>Medway Council did grant £30,000 towards improvements in 2013, but Illa and husband Alan say they were told that this would not be enough to cover all the works needed.<br/><br/>The former McDonald’s children’s party organiser, who initially developed endometriosis and suffered several falls in skiing and horseriding accidents, has undergone at least 11 operations.<br/><br/>Illa suffers from gout, has arthritis in her joints and is incontinent.<br/><br/>Unable to walk unassisted the once fit and active woman has piled on the pounds and now weighs around 35 stone.<br/><br/>Illa has looked into having weight reduction surgery but says she is on a “waiting list for a waiting list”.<br/><br/>Fighting back tears, she said: “If I go to bed and don’t wake up that would be a good thing.<br/><br/>“I have been housebound for what feels like forever. I have arthritis, gout, eczema and depression.<br/><br/>“I sometimes think suicide is a good option.<br/><br/>\

35st woman stuck in \

⏲ 3:26 👁 165K

American College of Surgeons

What I Wish I Knew: Niru Anne, MD, FACS

⏲ 4 minutes 35 seconds 👁 85

University of Iowa Health Care

Luis Garcia, MD, FACS

⏲ 1 minute 21 seconds 👁 459

A mum says trolls tell her she is \

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American College of Surgeons

What I Wish I Knew: Mary Klingensmith, MD, FACS

⏲ 6 minutes 29 seconds 👁 89

Spectrum Health

Resolving Medical Conditions with Bariatric Surgery - Jon Schram, MD, FACS

⏲ 2 minutes 12 seconds 👁 215

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