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✓ Published: 04-May-2024
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Running Man Philippines Season 2 mediacon<br/><br/>Video: Khryzztine Baylon

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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. &#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn&#39;t interested in beginning an affair with the woman. &#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He said: “I thought, &#39;jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.&#39;&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“It was like an intermittent reward.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”
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Bobby Manning welcomes Anthony Chiang of the Miami Herald to the Garden Report for a recap and breakdown of the Celtics vs Heat round 1 series, a look ahead to what he expects from Boston going forward in the playoffs and what Miami will do this offseason starting with the Jimmy Butler extension debate. &#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Garden Report Powered by:&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Prize Picks! Get in on the excitement with PrizePicks, America’s No. 1 Fantasy Sports App, where you can turn your hoops knowledge into serious cash. Download the app today and use code CLNS for a first deposit match up to &#36;100! Pick more. Pick less. It’s that Easy! Go to https://PrizePicks.com/CLNS&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Gametime! Take the guesswork out of buying NBA tickets with Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code CLNS for &#36;20 off your first purchase. Download Gametime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest Price. Guaranteed. Terms apply. Go to https://gametime.co !
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